
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11992935.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M
  Fandom:
      Original_Work
  Additional Tags:
      crackfic, kinda_i_guess, omg_why_r_u_reading_this, made_out_of_boredom™,
      warning:_unbelievable_but_yet_true, Fellatio, a_whol'_lotta_dick_sucking,
      what_the_fuck_lol, pussy_eating_'til_the_lesbians_die, orgy???_kind
      of???, Cunnilingus, Everyone_Is_Gay, well_except_for_like_3_dudes, Y_E_S
      TWINKIE_BUN_YOU_GO_WITH_YOUR_STUFFED_UNICORN, TWINKIE_BUN_DESERVES_ALL
      THE_LOVE_IN_THE_WORLD!!!!, You_will_see_why, strange_encounters, strange
      as_shit, this_all_happened_in_a_day_in_the_span_of_9_hrs, WE_MADE_BAD
      DECISIONS, dont_read_if_you_are_sensitive_to_teenagers_doing_bad_things,
      like_srsly....., doNT_MAN_IM_WARNING_YA
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-09-04 Completed: 2017-10-14 Chapters: 8/8 Words: 2835
****** the day where my true pansexuality shows ******
by assbackwards_(chateauu)
Summary
     an unbelievable yet true story of a strange encounter that led to
     something else prepare for a fucking shit show y'ALL
***** hot green day fan meets hot green day fan *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
ah yes
the day where it began
fucking hell where do i stAR T
so uh
okay
here goes nothing
.....
so im walking around the vinyl section of b&n
obv im a green day stannie™ i guess (???) so,,,, i look through the g (spot)
section
i see kerplunk, insomniac, 21cb, revrad, american idiot, n dookie
a hand pulls out dookie
she apologizes for like bothering me buT how can i
when i saw her goddamn
she's hot
she's hot as shit man
bisexual haircut, a nose ring, black tight ass jeans, she's wearing all black
god fuck
it's nearly 100 degrees here in nyc
goddamn you go girl
anysluts
she tells me nice shirt bc
im wearing a green day shirt
hint hINT DIPSHITS 
SO IS SHE OMG
well
no not really
it's a shirt with billie on it
and he be looking S E X Y on it
damn hoe where can i get your shirt???
and she's like "i love 'em too
well
u can tell
billo is on mine ;)))"
she is gorgeous as hell omf pls raw me mommy
(ew no im a top ya fag)
back to the sT O RY
i say "uh huh i can tell"
and she then she flirts with me a lil oH GOD IM HYPERVENTILATING AH AH AHHHH
*MOANING*
then i flirt with her back
and uh
we end up nearly groping each other in the middle of a store
we wait until people stop looking and then we walk around the entire store ,
judging gay manga and hidden adult films behind the kid dvds UHM
BARNES AND NOBLE IS THAT LEGAL
LIKE
IT IS LITERALLY P O R N
WELL
LIKE UNSIMULATED SEX FIL MS
GODDAMN
Y'ALL EMPLOYEES HORNY AS SHIT
then we end up in the same bathroom stall and i feel like im in a daze
i smoked a lil pot before i went in the store anyways
fuck ugh
and uh she tells me im hot
i tell her she is too
we end up making out passionately
uh yeah it felt good
moaning and rubbing her....
....
OH
she also grabs my ass uh
i moan against her and she spreads it around and smacks it a lot
she said she likes it and it's nice
damn
this girl is gay™ like me but the gay me is for a different story babes,,,
i grab hers too and goDDAMN IT FEELS SO NICE IN MY HANDS
I SMACK HERS TOO
she then takes off my shirt and then cups my *****
i obv moan bc im (a) sensitive (top in bed)
then she puts my shirt back on and my lipstick is a mess
worth it!
but thAT'S NOT ALL OH NO SIREE BITCH
YSEE
SHE KEEPS ON TEASING ME
LIKE
SHE GRINDS HER ASS ON ME WHEN SHE BENDS OVER UHM
A LITTLE GIRL STARES AT US AND CRIES
WE RUN DOWNSTAIRS
then we buy snacks from the newsstand near the subway. station
she obv hit me u p
oh baby girl ye s
she then gives me her number
she leaves awwhhh
i diDNT EVEN GET HER NAME FUCK
she was too sizzlin' for a name babe
she walks back upstairs bc we dont go the same way hhh
then i go home and don't stop thinking about her
but obv i can't tell anyone abt this yet duH
WE ARE ONLY GETTING STARTED
Chapter End Notes
     if you thought this shit was crazy trust me yOU DONT KNOW WHAT
     HAPPENS NEXT
***** iM A STRIPPER BAYBEE *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
Chapter Notes
     okay so yeah this is only gonna get more worse and worse and more
     sexual than it should be so yeah if you're sensitive to us teenagers/
     young adults doing dumb things to ourselves yeah you should really
     stop reading this now thanks
     just warning y'all
See the end of the chapter for more notes
it's a few weeks later now
im home alone
mom and dad left 10 mins ago
i call hotti's number ac K
she said she'll be around in 20 mins
so i watch an episode of robot chicken to kill time
and then i bop to the that's so raven theme song for about 5 mins
yOU CAN GAZE INTO THE FUTURE
lmao anyways
the doorbell rings
i hope the door
it's her
"hi!!!!!"
but she's not the oNLY ONE WHO IS THERE
SHE GOT AN ENTIRE GANG
BITCH I WAS NOT PREPARED 
I WAS S H O CK
AND SHE SAID
"oh don't worry these are my friends"
BITCH SHE IN COLLEGE
THE FUCK
IM ONLY 13 CHILL YO DICK VAN DYKE HERE MAN
i can't tell if that was a mean girls or a painter reference
..... ...
whatever
so they come in
there r a few people.....
a bisexual couple...
daniel and evelyn
2 girls
shelley and janice
3 dudes
jackson , oliver , and martin
and twinkie bun awH FUCK
I DONT EVEN WANNA USE HIS REAL NAME
TWINKIE B U N
HE HAS ANXIETY AND I HELPED AND SUPPORTED HIM WHEN HE NEEDED ME
anygays
he's cute as shit goddamn
he's holding a pole
a stRIPPER POLE
I YELLED
I WAS EXCITED
BITCH I TOLD THEM TO SIT DOWN AND FOR BLONDIE TO GET READY FOR A SHOW
I GOT IN A MATCHING BRA AND PANTIES
WHITE AS SHIT
AND UH THEN A BLACK ROBE
THEN BLACK HEELS I WORE TO A WEDDING
AND I RAN OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND BLASTED SEXY MUSIC ON MY TABLET AND SWUNG
GODDAMN WAS I GOOD
I TWERKED AND SHIT AND EVERYONE WANTED A LAPDANCE
damn hoe
so i started off with jackson
i grinded on him and took off his shirt
HE HAS ABS WHAT
i kissed down to his belt
everyone shrieks at this point
"SHE GON SUCK HIS COC-"
i lick up back to his neck and then i kiss him rough and he grabs my ass
fuck his haNDS 
HIS G O D D A M N HANDS
then he gets a boner and all the boys (except for daniel) gets a boner
uh
okay. then.
then i travel to martin and oliver
martin is rlly sweet yet so fit ugh god
ok so i apparently shake my ass over his legs and he just yknow taps it a lil
im sitting here enjoying the touch of his warm hands
damn what typa baby soap you be using hon 
thEN ITS OLIVER
he's a cute white kid.
but when i get near him, he pulls my hair and makes out with me while i dry
hump his ass
he's hard.... stiff as a rock
the song ends oop
hotti says "fuck the song! fuck the girls!"
and honestly i aM AROUSED
i then tease and play around a lil with janice and shelley
janice is pretty gay
not as gay as me, but she's gay
she like rubs my sides and caresses my upper body
ugh Yes !!!! darlin' babe
i grind against her thighs and then shelley jus t comES IN FROM THE BACK AND
LICKS MY NECK WH AT
DAMN YOU SHELL STICKS
IM LIKE WHINING A LITTLE
THANK GOD SHE DIDNT GIVE ME A HICKEY
she's whispering seductively in my ear and im wet against "girl with a lesbian
crush on regina george"'s left thigh
she can feel it too oH OKAY
ALRIGHT THEN BABE
shell sticks continues to kiss me and then takes off mY ROBE AH
SHE KISSES DOWN MY SPINE AND IM SHIVERING
im moaning, telling her to not stop kissing me
eventually she does, but she pins me down and french kisses me
i do it back but then i push her on the ground
everyone is cheering and shit
jackson suddenly says "wow! you're hot! how old are ya?"
me:
......
...
....
...
.
.
...
thirteen
everyone: NIG-
WHAT THE FUC NSJSKSMMS
YOURE SO SEXY
HOW ARE YOU 13
then hotti over here says "for a 13 year old, she can bang me"
thATS IT
THAT IS FUCKING IT.
I CAN NOT TAKE IT.
I STRIPTEASE NOW
im on the pole aggRESSIVELY sliding my bra straps off my shoulders and rubbing
myself in places i shouldn't be
and accidentally the bra comes off uh
everyone loves my pubescent tits then ok
so the girl crawls over to me and she sucks on one
fUCK IT FELT GOOD
AH AH AH
*EXAGGERATED MOANING*
i pull too hard on the pole and uh
i break it
oops
twinkie bun can't put it back together and i start apologizing like a fucking
maniac
jackson tells me not to worry in that "im jokingly flirting with you" voice
and im like okay man what
twinkie says but now he's being straight uhM
"why don't we take this somewhere else??"
so we go to the bedroom and uh im asked the most... indescribable question of
my life.......
Chapter End Notes
     oh god i am a piece of sin™ what am i doing w/ my own life
     y'all really thought i was gonna blurt out the question that quick
     really
***** deleted teenage sex tape *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
Chapter Notes
     this is where shit hits the fA N
     GET YOURSELF A DRINK OF WATER BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER THANKS
See the end of the chapter for more notes
"i need help with my sexuality :'((" - twinkie
"honey don't worry !!! what can i do for ya babe??" -  me
"uhm....
i need you....
to suck my cock"
UH
WHAT THE FUCJ
TWINKIE BUN DID NOT JUST ASK ME FOR HIM TO SUCKLE HIS PENIS
i ended up doing it anyways
everyone was in shock bc hey!!! twink's gay!! but hey what can ya do
twink has anxiety and is very socially awkward so im helping him by sucking his
dick
it's average sized but im kinda choking on it uh
you could hear me gag and everyone shrieked
"DAMN MAMI SHE CAN DEEPTHROAT HIS DICK"
hotti is filming my mouth go down on him
then i feel him grow bigger uh
i guess he's about to cum
so i pull out and jerk him off
he gives me a facial
like
it's not just a facial
this is like some charcoal mask to remove blackheads facial
this is some next level sH I T
it's like
his cum is spread around my face
there's a lot of my cheeks and my forehead and then under my lips
i don't really say anything bc everyone is shrieking and yelling and cheering
for me
i then go to the bathroom to wash the semen off my face
hair flies in front of me
but
it smells like shit
wA IT
DID HE CUM ON MY HAIR
OH MY SHIT FUCK
Chapter End Notes
     my birthday is in a month so month early birthday chapter post wH OO
***** HOTTI'S NAME IS REVEALED WHAT THE FUCJ *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
so my bra is back on and twinkie's cum is apparently my acne wash ok then
we're playing seven minutes in heaven aka dO YOU WANNA SPIN A BOTTLE PLAY A
GAME OF CHICKEN
WELL IT'S A TONGUE TWISTER 'TIL YOUR LIPS ARE BLEEDING
AHHHH ANYHOW
ANYWHERE
KISS ME THERE
OH, KISS ME THERE
OH, SCREAM AND SHOUT 
TRUTH OR DAAAAARE
KISS ME THERE
OH, KISS ME THERE
anyways
it's me and the hotti again
in the bathroom
a wall of it
i get her name
her name is adrienne
oh
my
fuck
WHAT THE HELL
SHE MAY NOT LOOK LIKE BILLIE'S WIFE BUT SHE IS SO GORGEOUS O K A Y
ok so she says i can call her adie too
fuckin' nice honey
we end up making out again
and here i am, legs wrapped around her waist, her hands on my ass again, her
soft lips just fucking with my emotions
so i take off her faux leather jacket
it looks like a jacket a t-bird would wear
she's now wearing a black flag shirt bless
now she puts me back on my feet and she's kissing doWN AND DOWN AND DOWN OH MY
GOD
ADRIENNE YOU BETTER FUCKING NOT-
oh
wait
she's teasing me
*moans softly*
she's like
um
her lips are just pressing against my underwear
she's like kissing it and sucking on it
and her hands go up and sHE PULLS-
her phone rings
SUGAR
HONEY
ICED
TEA
AKA S H I T
Chapter End Notes
     short chapter because cliffhangers are th E BEST
***** SHIT BANGS ME IN THE PUSSY *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
Chapter Notes
     DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER THIS IS THE PART WHERE STUFF IS LITERALLY
     UNDERAGE
See the end of the chapter for more notes
adie and i are back in the bedroom
everyone is yelling at us to stop so we can finish the game but bLAME ADIE YA
TWATS
she starts to actually undress me fully oh my god
well
it's just the bra again
and there she goes sucking on my chest again
fuck fuck fuck
her lips travel between my legs oH
THEN SHE TAKES OFF MY UNDERWEAR
GODDAMNIT ADRIENNE
hotti had me wet as shit
theN SHE GOES IN FOR REAL THIS TIME HOLY GOD
SHE SUCKS ON MY CLIT LIKE A PACIFIER
PACIFY HER
DAMN YOU MELANIE (i actually like her)
and yes since i am a kinky as shitcakes top i get to pull on her hair and push
her closer to me
and yes i aM SCREAMING AND MOANING AT THE SAME TIME
if you need an exact representation of what i say:
"... oh fuck
ahh, adrienne....
goddamn....
ohh... oh... ahhhh!!
right there, baby
goddamnit it feels so good
please don't stop"
then afterwards it's more moaning and groaning
i open my eyes and sit up and aLL THE GUYS ARE JACKING OFF WHAT
EVEN TWINKIE
TWINKIE BUN NOOOOOO
OH NO BABY !!! WHAT IS YOU DOING???
but then i tell her to stop and lie down on the bed so i can sit on her face
she pulls my underwear to the side and just starts to lick me again
but this tiME SHE GOES ALL OUT HOOOO BOI
IM MOANING SO LOUD
THE WALLS ARE SO THIN IN MY APARTMENT SO I THINK A NEIGHBOR HEARD ME
IM GRINDING ON HER FACE SNJSMSMSIS
AND THEN THE GUYS COME OVER TO MY SIDE AND NOW IT IS AN ORGY
NOT LIKE SAUSAGE PARTY BUT THIS
THIS IS LIKE
OH MY GOD
THEY'RE JERKING OFF NEAR ME
LIKE
THE HEADS OF THEIR DICKS ARE NEAR MY SKIN
DAMN IT
AND THEN ONE OF THEM GROPES AND KISSES ME AT THE SAME TIME AND MY LOWER BODY
PRESSES AGAINST ADIE'S MOUTH
AND HERE I AM, SCREAMING MY ASS OFF BECAUSE HER DAMN TONGUE AND LIPS
BITCH STOP
AKA DONT BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO-
and i jizz in her mouth and so do the guys on my body and chest
thanks guys, i don't need to shower now
your jizz is my soap and your tongues are my water to wash me off
yes i made them lick their cum off me
Chapter End Notes
     i mean like it's your cum the fuck lol
***** three guys, one girl *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
Chapter Notes
     there is no cups ya hoe
See the end of the chapter for more notes
ok so we watch porn for a lil bit
we are horny again yippee kai yay here we go again
ok go - here goes it again
anyways
more truth or dare ugh
and every single fucking dare for me is to suck cock
apparently im good at it wow
so jackson asks me first k
and iTs SO BIG OMG
I ASKED THIS HOE IF HE WAS TAKING VIAGRA
him: no
bITCh stop lying
does your dick hang low
do you need viagra
if you do
if you do
then try our viagra cake
then try ooooouurrr 
viagra
c a k e
damn you ditty
alright then
i try to fit in my mouth but like i can only take two inches  
anD THEN THIS BITCH PUSHES MY HEAD CLOSER AND HERE I AM CHOKING
he calls me a good hummer uh alright then
like hunty no im not moaning
im choking
you're a fucking idiot
stop. get. some. help.
he pushes me away and tells me to suck martin off
which i did
he's not as bad
it's average sized but long in length so i can feel it down my throat
choke choke choke
here he is, about to cum but holding off
now it's oliver
he's average so this is alright
they probably laughed at each other penis sizes but who cares this is me s m d
i n g now
 he's pulling me off too what the fuck is this
anD NOW I CAN NOT EVEN SUCK MARTIN'S COCK BECAUSE HE IS JACKING OFF AND IS
ABOUT TO RELEASE 5,000 BABIES IN THE SOUTH
AND HERE IT GOES AGAIN
SEMEN ON MY STOMACH AND ON MY KNEES AND ON THE FLOOR AGAIN
like
y'all know i made them spray that stain cleaner and wipe that shit off my
parents' rug
oops did i say parents
Chapter End Notes
     adrienne gave me oral on my mom's bed. i jacked off twinkie while
     watching porn in my dad's bed. i masturbated in front of everyone on
     my PARENTS' BED.
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
      
     fucking hell what. is wrong with me
     also double chapter update??? aH H
***** we hungry fageronis *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
so we go outside
buy some burger king
talk some more
blast deepthroat in the middle of the street
wH A T
no no that was martin's idea
you fucking dingus if you read this i hope you choke on billie joe armstrong's
chode and die
where was i again
ok
so adrienne decides to make a jesus of suburbia reference woo hoo to 7 eleven
we go biatch
get me some free slurpees
be beyoncé
SHOULDERS SIDEWAYS SMACK IT SMACK IT IN THE AIR
LEGS MOVING SIDE TO SIDE SMACK IT IN THE AIR
LEGS MOVING SIDE TO SIDE SMACK IT IN THE AIR
SHOULDERS SIDEWAYS
SMACK IT SMACK IT IN THE AIR  
SMACK IT SMACK IT IN THE AIR  
LEGS  MOVING  SIDE  TO  SIDE  
SMACK  IT  SMACK  IT  IN  THE  AIR  
SMACK  IT  SMACK  IT  IN  THE  AIR  
what am i doing i-
then it's 4:00pm oh shit
we better run our asses home or else
***** IT IS THE END NOOOOO *****
Chapter by assbackwards_(chateauu), chateauu
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
4:30 now rip
they say they should go
i do too hhhh
i give them all hugs and kisses and their instagram accs and makeout sessions
again
twinkie is extra bc i grab his dick and uh stroke it in his pants
yes im horny too bun bun
they leave awww bye
thEN IM RUNNING TO CLEAN UP THE ROOM, FIX THE TABLES, AND LICK VAGINAS 
I MEAN
WIPE OFF CUM STAINS WITH NAPKINS 
cause that's how i do
Chapter End Notes
     THATS THE END BITCHES
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